Tears
by intertwinedestinys
Summary: Clark goes through another break up with Lana, and it effects him in a really negative way.
1. Chapter 1

**This is my first Smallville fanfic so be nice. Sorry its quite short and the grammar isnt perfect but later chapters will be longer and more improved. Anything in Italics are Clark's personal thoughts. **

**CLARK'S POV**

**Chapter 1**

Clark sat in the comfort of his barn, all alone, tears seeping down his red face. He may have been an alien from another planet, but the horrible feeling of heartbreak affected him like any human he knew.

_I wish I were a human, no powers,just normal Clark Kent. I cant keep lying to the people I care about,especially Lana. She doesnt deserve this,and if I carry on she will surely stop trusting me completly-that is if she hasnt already. All this, all this pain is the thanks I get for protecting her. If she knew my secret she will be in so much trouble. I mean look at Chloe, she was so much safer before she knew about me. I CANT endager Lana to. Letting her go is the only option, she hates me if Ilie to her which is what I am forced to do daily to protect her, and if she knew I dont know what would happen to her. I refuse to lose the love of my life, there is no one else I could ever love. NO ONE!_

"Hey,Smallville. Whats up?" Clark turned drasticly wiping his tears on his face, to see Lois Lane standing on top of the wooden steps of the barn. She was smiling at him with a mischevious grin.

"What do you want, Lois?" Clark said venemously. She always had to be around when he didnt want her to be, and ever since Lois started living at the Kent Farm, Clark would always say he would do anything to get rid of her. Smothering her with a pillow- anything!.

"I just talked to Lana, she said you broke up-Again!" she looked annoyed.

"Its only temporary, Im sure we will work things out eventually. We always do" He gave Lois a quick smile and looked down at floor.

_Who I am kidding, I dont want to work things out with her. The only way to do that is to tell her the truth,and I can't do that. What if she doesn't like what she see's? I dont want the love of my life to look at me like an alien from another planet for the rest of our lives, I want her to know me as Clark Kent, the shy Kansas farmboy who has been in love with her since 4th grade. _

"Clark, when are you going to accept that you and Lana are never going to work. Stop dwelling on her and just move on. You keep breaking up, and breaking eachothers hearts. Trust me, heartbreak is worse than any other pain- I should know" Lois shouted. She looked sad and a tear rolled down her cheek.

_Lois Lane is crying infront of me,this isn't right ...She is the most strong,independant women I have ever known,I have never seen one tear on her face. Wow, maybe she does have a heart. _

_"_Are you okay, Lois?" Clark looked at her with a worried expression. Lois quickly wiped the tear of her face and stared at Clark.

"Yeah, dont get your hopes up Smallville. I know how much you would love to see me sad, but this girl is fine and doesnt let love effect her. Unlike some people" She nodded at Clark who's face was still bright red after crying over Lana for hours. This annoyed Clark to no end,she will never understand how strong his feelings for Lana were- NEVER. Any love that she has felt could never compete.

"Just leave me alone, Lois. You know, for a minute I thought maybe you had a heart but you will obviously never know this feeling. I dont want someone like you going on at me about my love life. I can usually put up with you making fun of me, but not today. Just do me favour and... kill yourself!" Clark immediately regretted what he had just said, and looked at Lois with sad sorry eyes.

_What is wrong with me? This just shows what a bad effect Lana has one me. Maybe Lois was right after all. Maybe I should just move on if she makes me feel like this. _

Tears started to well up inside Lois's eyes. She looked like she had just been punched, but what Clark didnt realize was she felt like she had been punched in the heart. She turned and began walking slowly down the wooden steps of the barn, the steps creaking at she walked.

"Lois, wait!" Clark yelled. Lois just continued walking out the barn and outside into the warm sun. Clark had never felt so guilty in his entire life, after all Lois had only been trying to help. Clark looked out the barn window, and saw Lois leaving in her bright red car. He could hear her whimpering with his super hearing even after she had driven a good mile or so. He couldnt bear to listen to the two people he cared about crying because of him.

_Nice going, Smallville. How many more people are you willing to hurt today?. _


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

**LOIS POV **

Lois drove as fast as the wind could take her, everything around her seemed like a Blur. Tears were streaming down her face, beating the speed of a waterfall. She may now technically live at the Kent Farm but she just had to get away... from him. Thoughts of Clark's blue eyes staring straight at her and those words coming out of his lips were whizzing around in her head. She felt sick.

_"I thought you did have a heart"_

_"Do me a favour and just ... kill yourself!"_

_"Kill yourself!"_

_"Kill yourself!"_

Those two menacing words stuck out most of all in her mind. They had been involved in a fraction of Lois's past that she desperately wanted to forget in which she had in fact contemplated suicide. She had never told anyone this information about her troubled teenage years, not even her own father.

_Flashback_

_"Lois dear, are you coming to visit your mom in the hospital with me this morning?" General Sam Lane asked as he quickly put on his coat._

_"No dad. How many times do I have to say I don't want to go. I can't see mom in that state!"_

_"Are you sure? Trust me, you will regret it." Sam stared into her eyes, almost as if her were pleading her to go with him._

_"I'm sure dad. Just go and tell mom I love her."Lois smiled and continued to munch away loudly on her breakfast cereal._

_"You could easily tell her that yourself but if this is what you want..." said General Lane as he slowly trudged out of the door. He couldn't even count how many times he looked back to check if his daughter had changed her mind, but she never did. _

Mrs. Lane had been in hospital suffering from a brain tumor at the time. All the treatment was making her weaker by the day, and Lois knew her days were withering away to nothing. But the reason why Lois didn't want to visit her mother in the hospital was because she wanted to remember her mother as she was; active, strong and always willing to crack a joke not a weak and unhappy woman dying in a hospital bed.

_Later that day..._

_Lois was sat all on her own in the living room, when the phone rang. Her father was out working so she would have to take any calls or messages so every day she would wonder if any phone call she had during the day was the phone call she had been dreading for the past couple of months. This day of 6th March 2000 was the day of reckoning when that moment occurred. Lois gritted her teeth and picked up the phone._

_"Hello..." she said timidly, waiting anxiously for a reply._

_"Hello dear, this is Metropolis Hospital. May I speak to your father, please?"She sounded sad, as if she had bad news to tell. Lois couldn't wait for her father to get home to find out. That was one of the disadvantages of being an army brat, her dad always seemed to be working or at the hospital and he would never spend time with his daughters like he used to when they were young. _

_"He isn't home; I'll pass on a message if you want..."_

_"Okay. I have some bad news. Your mother passed away this afternoon, but believe me the state she was in by then it seemed for the best. I am so sorry for you loss, and I'm sorry to burden you with this news to carry until your father gets home. Tell him to ring me back when he gets home-Thanks dear" The nurse hung up the phone, and Lois stood on the spot in silence. Her mother was gone, deceased forever and she will never be able to see her beautiful face or hear her voice again. This thought hit Lois in the stomach as a giant bowling ball of regret. Why didn't she go and visit her mother in the hospital? Now, they only time Lois could talk to her mother after those many terrible months, was at her funeral when she looks into her coffin. A tear rolled down Lois's cheek and soon she ran up to her bedroom and began wailing into her pillow, clutching her teddy bear that her mother had gave her when she was 3 years old tighter than ever. _

_After her mother's death, her father became very distant and she hardly ever saw him. Her sister, Lucy, was busy with school and getting top grades so Lois never saw her either. She never really got a long with her sister anyway, so she believed that was for the best. The more the days went a long, the more she missed her mother and spending time with her. Every day she would regret never saying goodbye to her and each of these days alone in her house she would contemplate suicide so she could see her mother again, and be with her. There were some days when she came so close to doing so, but she never did. She couldn't leave or father or her sister especially as she was now technically her guardian as her father never left work._

_End of Flashback_

Those years had been very stressful for Lois, and Clark just had to remind her of this.

_I shouldn't take it out on him, he was just mad at Lana, and he didn't know about my past or how I would react. _

Lois was heading towards the Talon to go and stay with Chloe for a while, just to give Clark time to calm down that is. Thoughts of suicide, her mother, Clarks words and her troubled past were swimming around her in her mind so much that she could barely see the road through her tears welling up in her eyes. Lois was driving a long a straight narrow road that would go a long for a few more minutes so she closed her eyes and slowly wiped away her tears, one hand still gripped firmly on the steering wheel.

She didn't see the side road opening, and car hurtling out of it at top speed towards her. She didn't even have time to scream when she saw it for that brief second.

_Everything went black._


	3. Chapter 3

**Authors Note: **Everyone keeps asking if this is a Clois or Clana story. It will be both, because there will be quite a few Clana scenes in the progress up to Clois. But I'm expecting Clois to be endgame when I finish the story- unless I change my mind, but I shouldn't do.

Clark sat in the barn clutching a ring which glowed a bright shade of red in the darkness. He knew what effect this variety of kryptonite had on him but he just didn't care anymore. Red kryptonite stopped him from thinking about romance or anyone he holds dear and allows him to live in the moment. The pain and guilt in his heart he was feeling at the time was unbearable and he didn't want to feel like this again-not ever. He sighed and slowly slipped on the ring, shaking as he did so. All of a sudden his eyes glowed and light shade of red and quick and sharp, so did all the veins trailing up his muscular arms.

"Lana who?" he laughed as he kicked his feet back and began to play a Halo Marathon using Lois's games she had lying around.

"Die, Die, Die!" he yelled, pushing almost every single button the controller. He may have been under the influence of red kryptonite but he still didn't understand the game and why Lois enjoyed it so much. The volume was turned up at full blast, so that even with his super hearing, he almost didn't hear his mother running up the stairs of the barn yelling his name.

"Clark Kent. Are you listening to me?!"

"No, you're not my mom... and my name is Kal-El" he stated still staring at the television with a game of Halo still in action.

Martha stared at Clark, wondering hopelessly what was wrong with him. Then she suddenly saw a red glow coming from his finger. Red kryptonite.

"Clark, just listen to me. This isn't you."

"I know. This... is much better." He looked at the ring, and kissed it to show Martha how much he cherished it at the time.

"Take that ring off right now, before you do something your regret." She ordered Clark as she slowly backed away, knowing quite rightly how dangerous he could become.

"What like this!" he shouted sarcastically as he ripped a plank of wood of the barn, and threw it at Martha, hitting it in her stomach and sending her flying backwards into the wall.

Clark smiled, sat back down on the sofa and continued his game which he had paused in the process. He looked at Martha one more time and turned his back on her in disgust.

Martha was trapped but in arms reach was a lead box which contained kryptonite. That was her only hope. She reached and strained her arm until her fingers were red and locked tightly around the box and grabbed it. Holding onto the box as tightly as she could, she pushed the plank of wood off herself with all her might and it landed on the floor with a bang.

Clark turned to her, eyes glowing an evil shade of red and began to walk towards her menacingly.

"Poor old, Martha Kent..." he sneered as he edged closer.

Suddenly Martha took the lead box from behind her back, and opened it. A green light shined from it with such intensity. Clark stopped and fell to the floor, gasping for breath.

"Stop please!" he begged as Martha moved closer towards him, and whispered in his ear. She was so close the pain was too much to handle.

"Lois has been in an accident. She is in surgery and she may not pull through. If you care about her, you will stop this right now Clark Kent." She whispered in his ear with a tear in her eye. She didn't want to do this. The thought that she was hurting her son like this was almost killing her too but it was the only way.

"Martha... Mom... Please" he looked up into her eyes, and Martha stared back into his.

_I can't do this. _

She took the box away from him, closed it and locked it tight. Suddenly Clark started walking towards her with the same menacing look on his face as before. She couldn't take out the kryptonite and hurt him again- she just couldn't. Clark walked towards her until he had her pinned against the wall with no way to escape; her heart was racing not knowing what was to happen next. Clark scrunched up his hands into a fist, and threw his hand forward with all his strength. Martha closed her eyes tight, but the next thing she knew she heard a loud smash right next to her ear. She opened her eyes to see red pieces of glass flying in opposite directions of the barn, and Clark staring at her with tears in his eyes.

"I'm sorry Mom. I'm so sorry!" he cried as he threw his arms around her neck and sobbed loudly. Martha held him tightly and stroked his hair. They were hugging for what seemed like hours when Clark suddenly jumped back.

"Lois." He said with a scared expression on his face. Before Martha could say anything he was gone.

Clark super sped to the hospital and moved faster than he ever had before in his lifetime.

"_Do me a favour and... Kill yourself!" _he remembered the words that he had said as he sat in the waiting room of the hospital, fearing the worst. A tear fell from his eye, and his face fell into his hands.

_This is all my fault. I am so sorry Lois. _


	4. Chapter 4

Clark was still sat patiently in the waiting room when suddenly Chloe came barging through the automatic doors, looking extremely nervous and worried.

"Oh my god, Clark..." she whimpered and wrapped her arms around him tight. He stared into Chloe's eyes then looked down at the floor, feeling ashamed.

"This...is all my fault, Chloe" he whispered, almost unable to get his words out. The feeling of guilt in his gut was now stronger than ever.

"What are you talking about, Clark. How was this your fault?" she looked at him confused.

"I was angry. I wasn't thinking. I told her to kill herself Chloe... and the next minute she has been in a life threatening accident and I'm supposed to think it was a coincidence!" Clark shouted and started to shake in panic, not knowing what to do.

"Yes Clark. It was in fact a coincidence because unless you were the maniac driving the car, this wasn't your fault!" she looked into his tear stained eyes with a reassuring look. "Everything is going to be okay..." she said wrapping her arms around him once again and gripping her hands together behind his back to hold him tight.

Suddenly a Nurse walked through the doors and both Chloe and Clark let go of each other.

"Clark Kent... Chloe Sullivan?" she asked looking around the waiting room.

"Were here. How is she?" asked Chloe, secretly preparing herself for the worst kind of news.

"She is fine, Miss Sullivan. A couple of broken ribs and a broken arm but she should pull through. No need to worry any longer." She smiled and both Chloe and Clark breathed a sigh of relief in unison. Chloe couldn't stop smiling, she was so happy her cousin was okay. The nurse stared at Clark and smirked.

"You must love your girlfriend very much; you seemed such a state waiting out here. Don't worry honey, she is fine." Clark stared at her confused.

"Girlfriend..."

"Lois...she is your girlfriend, right?" she asked and Clark let out a loud snort and smiled.

"Lois... No...Trust me, we are not a couple!"

"My mistake." Replied the nurse whilst winking at Clark with a mischievous grin on her face.

"What?" said Clark feeling uncomfortable as the Nurse continued to smirk at him.

"You like her though. Don't try and deny it, honey. That's always the first sign." She said.

"I don't know what your talking about." Replied Clark. He didn't know what to say to her.

_Clark Kent and Lois Lane. Give me a break._

"Suit yourself, sweetie." She said whilst turning to talk to Chloe.

"You can go and see her now, Miss Sullivan. Her room is just down the hall." The nurse smiled and pointed down the direction of the hallway in which Lois's room was. Chloe began to walk down the hall and Clark watched her closely, he always liked to keep a close eye on his friends- especially Chloe.

"You can see her afterwards, Mr Kent. Don't worry." The nurse said winking at him cheekily. Clark smiled at her and let out a loud sarcastic chuckle as she walked away.

Clark was still sat in the waiting room, when all of a sudden, Lana came walking through the doors of the hospital and turned to look directly at Clark.

"Hi, Clark. How is Lois?"

"Fine." Replied Clark bluntly not even looking Lana in the eye. He couldn't bear it.

"Clark...look at me!" she said stroking his cheek and turning his face slowly in the direction of hers. They were looking into each other's eyes, chocolate brown staring into ocean blue. "Clark, I said I wanted a break from our relationship, not from you. Your an important part of my life." Lana smiled and put her hand on his and gently gripped it but Clark soon pulled away and looked back down at the floor.

"Well maybe I want a break from you..." he whispered under his breath, just about loud enough for Lana to hear. He knew what effect Lana had on him after today, and the only way to keep her safe, and stop the horrendous pain in his heart was to avoid her. The feeling of having to let her go was worse and stronger than any type of kryptonite could ever be- but it was for the best. Right?

Lana stared at him in shock almost not believing what she was hearing. Clark had liked her for as long as she could remember, now it was all over... just like that.

"Fine. I'll see you around then I guess." She said quietly, barely able to hold a tear from flowing down her face in front of him. She began to slowly walk towards the exit with her shoulders slumped.

"Lana. I'm not stopping you from visiting Lois. Come and sit down." Clark said whilst patting the chair next to him and smiling weakly. Lana smiled at him with tears in her eyes and shook her head, she ran out of the door with tears flooding down her cheek.

_You are unbelievable, Clark Kent. First you tell me you want a break from me, and then you ask me to sit next to you. What the hell am I supposed to think? I am so confused._

Clark unfocused his super hearing from Lana because he couldn't stand to hear her crying again because of him- it hurt too much. He just wanted to forget, but thoughts of Lana Lang and all the beautiful moments they shared together continued to flood through his mind. Suddenly a familiar voice called through the door.

"You can go and see her now, Mr Kent." Said the Nurse whilst opening the door to allow him through to the hallway.

_Here we go..._

**Authors Note: **A Clois chapter is next. I want to say thank you for everyone's amazing reviews, you are all so kind.


	5. Chapter 5

**Authors Note: **Sorry it took me so long to post this time, have been pretty busy and I wanted to make sure this Chapter was perfect for clois fans. So enjoy: D xx

Clark slowly opened the door to Lois's room and peered around the door. He was scared of facing her after everything that had happened during the day, and after the awful things he had said to her. Clark looked towards the bed and saw Lois sat on it, typing franticly on her laptop.

_That's the thing about Lois Lane. She gets in a car crash, and was lucky enough to get out of it with only a broken arm. But she still worries about work, and get's a story in on time no matter what. I love her determination and the amount she has inspires me to never give up and carry on no matter what. That's one of the reasons why I love having Lois Lane in my life... Where did that come from?_

Lois looked up from her laptop and saw Clark staring at her with a smile on her face. It looked like he was daydreaming or something.

_His smile is kind of cute... Where the hell did that come from?_

"Clark? Earth to Clark!" Lois shouted. Clark shook his head and stared at her, just looking at her made him feel extremely guilty. He felt like turning around and walking out because he couldn't bear the feeling but he knew that wouldn't be fair on Lois and after his actions today he owed her an apology.

"Hi Lois... How are you feeling?" Clark asked, quickly saying the first thing that popped into his head.

"Was told to kill myself and got into a car crash today... Yeah I am feeling great, Smallville." The sarcasm was so strong it literally slapped Clark in the face. He stared at Lois with sad, sorry eyes.

"Lois, you know I didn't mean it. You have no idea how awful I feel about this. If I could turn back time, and not say that to you I would have. I am sorry Lois, and I'm not just saying that I am really seriously sorry. "Clark said drastically with a tear running down his cheek, he had never wanted someone's forgiveness so much in his life. Lois meant a lot to him, and he couldn't stand her not being his friend.

"Clark, calm down! I forgive you!" She said, smiling at him. Clark stared back at her, shocked that she would forgive him so easily.

_This is Lois Lane... she doesn't just forgive and forget, not for anyone and especially not for me. I love it when she smiles... her dimples, and they way her teeth sparkle and-_

"Clark!" Lois shouted, looking at Clark with a worried look on her face. "I think the better question is... How are YOU feeling, Clark?" She asked. He was seriously acting strangely.

"Yeah... well I'm might still be a bit upset about Lana. But I will get over it." He said, although he knew that wasn't the case.

_Why am I having these feelings for Lois all of a sudden?_

"I may act like I don't care about you, Smallville. But I do. I can't stand to see you like this, and you always end up feeling like this when you're with Lana. She-" Lois was cut off by Clark.

"I know, Lois. That's why I just told her I wanted a break... from her." He said looking down at the floor. He almost felt like crying again, but he didn't want Lois to see him crying over Lana- not again.

"You really love her, don't you?" Lois asked.

_Did I hear a hint of disappointment or am I just imagining things...?_

"I don't know, Lois. I thought I did but now-"

"Now what?" She asked, staring at him. Clark looked back into her eyes, almost as if he was trying to figure her out.

_I have never felt this way about Lois before. What's going on? I must still be a bit loopy after the whole red kryptonite predicament. _

"Now... I just can't deal with the heart-ache anymore. That's why I am taking a break from her, I want to move on. I don't know maybe deep down I knew Lana wasn't the one." Clark said, staring down at the floor once again. Suddenly he felt Lois's fingertips against his chin, and she lifted his head up to look at her.

"You moving on with the floor or something, Smallville. You seem to be looking down at it a lot lately." She laughed. Clark rolled his eyes and grinned back at Lois.

"You always know how to cheer me up, Lois" He said.

"Like I said, that's what I'm here for Smallville. One save at a time..." Clark couldn't resist any longer, he reached out, grabbed her hand and gripped it tight. Lois looked down at Clark's hands locked around her own, and smiled.

"Lois, I still don't understand why you would forgive me so easily after everything I said."

"You were upset, and you were not feeling yourself, Clark. I have been through bad break ups before and I know what it feels like. The day after I broke up with Oliver, Chloe came round with more ice cream and I literally bit her head off. It was only because I wanted to be alone, and I'm sure that's why you said what you said... to get rid of me. Don't worry, Smallville. Plus if we weren't friends, and didn't talk to each other, who would I pick on?" She said, winking at him with a cheeky smile on her face. Clark reached forward and poked one of her dimples, which made her smile grow even bigger. He looked her in the eye and gripped her hand tighter.

"I don't know what I'd do without you, Lois" He said. Lois smiled, and turned her hand around, intertwining her hand with his.

Meanwhile, Chloe was stood outside in the hallway looking through Lois's room's window watching the whole thing. She couldn't stop grinning at what she was witnessing. Clark and Lois were falling in love before her very eyes, and it only took a few bad actions and a car crash to make them realize their feelings. It was obvious to Chloe that they liked each other from the first day she saw them together, but they always denied it and hid behind insults and nicknames. Chloe knew that they were perfect for each other, but whether they would act on their feelings or keep hiding was another matter.

Clark turned around and noticed Chloe waiting outside the door. He quickly unwrapped his hand from Lois's and headed towards the door. Before he opened the door he turned around and gave Lois a little wave.

"Bye, Lois" He said smiling at her whilst closing the door to her room. He couldn't help but continue to smile as he walked down the corridor with Chloe.

"Everything okay, Clark?" asked Chloe.

"Yeah... it's perfect." He replied. Thoughts of Lana had left his mind, and thought's of Lois had now taken their place. He remembered the time when they first met in the field, and when she stopped him from killing that guy after he killed Alesha. Clark chuckled under his breathe, every memory was perfect, Lois was perfect.

_Clark Kent and Lois Lane... I could get used to that. _


End file.
